


Mi Alma

by daisyisawriter91



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Tragedy, British Men of Letters, Character Death, Hospitals, Injury Recovery, M/M, Major Character Injury, Past Torture, cuban music, this is just sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 05:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15041975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyisawriter91/pseuds/daisyisawriter91
Summary: Benny is gone. And Garth is left with scars to forever remind him.





	Mi Alma

**Author's Note:**

> The song mentioned in this fic can be found here: https://youtu.be/UllztBSZP7c  
> I do not speak Spanish, so I have no idea if the lyrics fit in any way, but the tone of the song fit pretty well.

Garth sat on the stiff bed, fidgeting ever so slightly. The scars on his arms were still bright and ugly, and those were just the visible ones. The hospital gown that hung a bit loose covered the scars on his torso and upper legs. He hadn’t seen his face in a while, but figured it looked much the same. He knew he looked like he lost a fight with a cheese grater. He may as well have. Would’ve hurt less.  
Two weeks. That’s how long it’d been since he got out of that hellhole, only to find the light of his life gone. Benny Lafitte was simply… _gone_. And Garth couldn’t figure out how that was possible, how someone could just…  
Garth would be seeing Sam and Dean the next day. But he wasn’t sure he wanted to. He wasn’t sure he wanted to see anyone who didn’t have those bright, beautiful eyes.   
Garth’s wedding band was resting comfortably on his finger, shining in the filtered moonlight. There was no longer any stinging from it, even though he’d asked for it to be in silver. To remind him of his humanity. But there was no longer a reason for him to be reminded of his humanity when he _was_ human.  
A nurse swept in, one earbud in her ear, one hanging out, music pouring from it. Every other patient in Garth’s room was asleep, only he was awake. Only he could hear the song. And, out of the demographic in the room, he thought that perhaps he was the only one who could recognize the song. It was an old Cuban song Garth never learned the name of, but one Benny would often sing at the top of his lungs.  
Tears pricked at Garth’s eyes as he listened to the quiet music. They began to fall, but he didn’t wipe them away. And this was the moment that the nurse chose to turn around.   
When she set eyes on him, she let out a small gasp and set down the chart she’d picked up. Her badge said her name was Rita Alvarez. A very pretty name.  
“Are you alright?” She asked, gently, pulling out her other earbud. The music abruptly stopped, and Garth wasn’t sure if he missed it, or was thankful.  
“It’s nothin’…silly.” Garth attempted. She raised an unimpressed eyebrow at him, and he realized he couldn’t fool her. He was never very good at lying, to begin with. “It’s just…my husband used to sing that song. Top of his lungs, whenever the mood struck him.” Garth confessed.   
“Yeah? He Cuban?” Rita asked, sitting on Garth’s bed.   
“Half. His mom was. Never got to meet her, but Benny talked about her like she was the one who put the moon in the sky.” Garth answered. “I’m sorry, miss, you’re working. I’ll let you be.” Garth finally wiped his tears away and attempted to steel his expression. But she wasn’t having it.  
“I’m actually off. I was just making a last check. And I wanna hear about this guy with fantastic taste in music.” She insisted, sitting cross-legged on the bed, forcing Garth to slide a bit to the side. “What was his name? Denny?” She asked.  
“Benny. Benny Lafitte. The most charming man you’d ever meet. He was pretty much your high school dream of a perfect man.” Garth, as though through water, felt himself smiling. “Smarter than most. You could go from talking about the Revolutionary War to Vonnegut to mechanics in ten minutes and he’d never lose his footing. The type of guy that helped old ladies across the street and got cats outta trees. A superhero. He used to call me _mi alma_.” Garth swooned just thinking about the first time Benny had called him that. His soul. “He had his problems, sure, but they were easy to accept. Especially when he smiled at you.”   
“Sounds like a pretty great guy.”  
“He was.” Garth mumbled, looking down at his hands.  
Benny would’ve kissed the puckering skin, assured him that they would heal, and that even if they didn’t, they’d still be remarkable. But Benny wasn’t there. And all Garth had to look at was scarred hands with a silver wedding band.  
“Name one bad thing about him. I dare you.” Rita insisted. Garth thought for a long moment. _That he’s not here_ passed through his mind, but that wouldn’t get him very far with this nurse.  
“I guess…even though I’m not one to judge, his eating habits coulda been better.” Garth finally replied.  
“That’s it? That’s what you come up with? Not, like, trust issues? Weird parents?” She asked, disbelieving.  
“No. None of that. He had some trust issues because of another relationship, but he worked through all of that with me.” Garth added.  
“A man who will work through his issues for the person he loves? Where can I get one?” Rita asked, jokingly.  
“They don’t make ‘em like that anymore, sad to say. But even if they did, you don’t want one. ‘Cause he’ll break your heart when he leaves.” Garth went quiet, looking away from Rita’s eyes.  
“What happened to him?” She asked. She didn’t reach out to touch him, something Garth appreciated.  
“We were…we were leaving. Heading out to Spain for a while. Something really bad’s going down in our circles,” _The Men of Letters_ , Garth’s brain supplied, unnecessarily. Bitterly. “We needed to go on a vacation for a little bit until it blew over. Spain sounded nice to me, and Benny agreed. We were getting ready that morning. Someone broke into our hotel room and kidnapped us.” Rita gasped, but his story was far from over. “We were brought to this…this place. They killed him. Right in front of me. They got their jollies off torturing me, so they did. That’s what all these scars are from.” Garth held up his arms, as if to prove his point.  
“My god…” Rita said. “What have you gone through?”  
“Too goddamn much.” Garth muttered, fresh tears beginning to fall. If things kept going like this, he’d begin to sob uncontrollably. “I didn’t…I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve to lose him.” His voice was wavering.  
Rita hesitantly reached forward and wrapped him in a hug. And Garth hadn’t realized how much he’d missed physical contact. He leaned into the touch and began to sob.  
He wasn’t sure how long he sobbed into Rita’s shoulder, and doing so didn’t make him feel better. But at least he could let out the pain he’d been feeling. The pain that would never go away.  
Benny was gone, and he had scars to remind him of that. What a world he was living in.


End file.
